Alakazam

At the end of the line that starts with Abra there’s a creature that no longer imitates any animal, but a stage magician instead: bushy moustache, narrowed eyes and a silver spoon in each hand. The spoons aren’t props. It makes them itself with its own power, uses them as amplifiers and even gives one to anyone who earns its trust.

The Pokédex entries all repeat the same idea in different words. Its neurons multiply without stopping until the day it dies, so its brain never stops growing and its head gets larger with age. It’s said to have an IQ of 5000 and a memory that records everything that has ever happened in the world, although another detail defines it better: its neck can’t support the weight of its skull, and what keeps its head upright is telekinesis applied to itself. Being nearby comes at a price. The powers it radiates give anyone who gets close a headache.

Five feet tall and weighing 48 kilos, the figures describe something tall and thin. Its official category, the Psi Pokémon, doesn’t describe a specific ability but a condition: it’s a brain with limbs, and the rest of the body comes second.

The 500 base points are distributed with no attempt at subtlety. On one side, 135 Special Attack and 120 Speed. On the other, 55 HP, 45 Defense and around 50 Attack that serve no purpose. The 95 Special Defense is the only concession it was given, and it came late.

Magic Guard, its Hidden Ability, is what holds almost all of its sets together: if the damage doesn’t come from a direct attack, it doesn’t take it. No item recoil, poison, burn or entry hazards. It can hold a Life Orb and keep the extra power without paying the health cost, or hold a Focus Sash and cross a field full of spikes with the sash intact. Smogon describes it as a premier wallbreaker in Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl OU, capable of tearing holes in slower teams that lack a clear answer.

Its arsenal is short and sufficient. Psychic, learned at level 43, is its main attack; Recover, at 34, restores half its health; Calm Mind, at 11, raises both Special Attack and Special Defense at once. Hypnosis, at level 6, is still the usual gamble with the usual accuracy. Psycho Cut, at 18, is a physical 70-power move that makes no sense to use with 50 Attack.

What holds it back is easy to state. With 55 HP and 45 Defense, any priority move kills it before it can act, and the Psychic type only hits Fighting and Poison for super effective damage while taking double damage from Bug, Ghost and Dark. A Weavile wins the lead and closes out the turn.

It belongs to the Human-Like Egg Group, with an uneven gender ratio: only 25% of specimens are female, one in four. Its 20 Egg cycles are equivalent to around 5355 steps, and it has no recorded Egg Moves, so breeding here adds nothing that can’t be obtained by levelling up. Anyone breeding the line will do it for its nature, IVs or ability, not for its movepool.

The evolution condition is the awkward part. Kadabra doesn’t evolve by level, with a stone or through friendship: you have to trade it. There’s no item involved and no minimum level, but there does need to be another person on the other end of the cable or connection, which leaves many players with a permanent Kadabra in solo play. Before that, Abra evolves into Kadabra at level 16, with no conditions.

Its catch rate is 50, within the difficult range, and roughly in line with that of a fully evolved Pokémon. Its habitat is urban. Wild specimens often carry a Twisted Spoon, which boosts the power of Psychic-type moves and is exactly the item you’d expect from this species. It yields 3 Special Attack EVs, has a base experience yield of 225 and grows at a medium-slow rate. Its base happiness is 70, the standard value.