Pinsir

The two horns that grow from its head are covered in spikes and aren’t for charging: they’re for clamping shut. Pokédex entries always describe the same scene — it catches its opponent between its pincers, squeezes until it splits it in two and, if the bug hangs on, flings it away. One entry gives a more precise figure for its grip: it can lift something that weighs twice as much as it, meaning more than 110 kilos, holding it with just its head. Its own 55 kilos and 1.5 metres put it roughly on the scale of an adult human.

The other constant in the entries is the cold. When the temperature drops, it retreats into the forest, and its movements become slow in cold areas, something that isn’t reflected in any game mechanic but does explain where it lives: its recorded habitat is the forest, where it competes with Heracross for tree sap. In Alola, it changes enemies, and its rival becomes Vikavolt.

Its official category is the Stag Beetle Pokémon. It has no pre-evolution or evolution: the line begins and ends with it, and the only transformation it can undergo is Mega Evolution.

The stat spread is textbook and doesn’t fool anyone: 125 Attack, 100 Defense and 85 Speed out front, against 65 HP, 70 Special Defense and roughly 55 Special Attack, which serve no purpose. That adds up to 500 points, and well over half of them are invested in hitting hard once.

The ability that defines it is its hidden ability, Moxie: whenever it knocks out an opponent, its Attack rises by one stage. Mold Breaker ignores the target’s abilities, which is useful against Levitate or Pyro Ball; Hyper Cutter, which only prevents its Attack from being lowered, is the worst of the three. It learns Swords Dance at level 40, and with X-Scissor (level 32), Superpower (level 52) and Close Combat as an egg move, it has the tools to finish off whatever Swords Dance leaves within range. Earthquake and Stone Edge come from TMs, covering precisely what Bug can’t hit.

And that’s the problem. Pure Bug is one of the game’s weakest offensive types: it’s resisted by Fire, Fighting, Poison, Flying, Ghost, Steel and Fairy, and only hits Grass, Psychic and Dark for super effective damage. Defensively, it withstands Fighting, Ground and Grass, but folds to Fire, Flying and Rock, and with 65 HP it can’t take two hits in a row. Its 85 Speed is the worst number on the sheet for what it implies: fast enough for normal play, too slow for everything else.

In an ordinary playthrough, it performs well. A well-timed Swords Dance against a route trainer can settle the entire battle, and False Swipe from a TM also makes it a useful tool for catching Pokémon without knocking them out.

It belongs to a single Egg Group, Bug, which greatly reduces the list of possible partners. Its gender split is even, with 50 % females, so any specimen is enough to start breeding without having to look for a Ditto. Its 25 incubation cycles equal roughly 6630 steps, putting it among the longer stretches.

Eight moves can come from the Egg, and two are worth the trip: Close Combat, which gives it the Fighting-type coverage the Pokédex doesn’t grant it by level until 52, and Feint, a priority move for finishing opponents off. Revenge and Flail are on the list too, although they depend on having low HP or low happiness to deal real damage. Quick Attack and Fury Attack are there more because of inheritance from Generation I than because they’re useful.

There’s nothing to explain about evolution: it doesn’t evolve into anything and doesn’t come from anything. The only alternative form recorded is Mega Pinsir, which isn’t an evolution but a temporary change during battle.

Its catch rate is 45, the figure for a difficult Pokémon, in the same range as starters and pseudo-legendaries. It grows at the Slow experience rate, the worst possible experience curve, and leaves 2 Attack effort points when it faints.