Qwilfish

It drinks up to ten liters of water in one go, swells up and uses the pressure of what it has swallowed to fire the spines covering its body. It is its only option, and it comes at a cost: once inflated, it moves terribly, and the Pokédex entries themselves admit it without dressing it up — for this Pokémon, swimming is a kind of challenge.

The spines were not added later. They were scales that sharpened over time, and they contain a toxin that weakens its target and, according to other entries, makes it lose consciousness. When its opponent is larger, it resorts to the same gesture for a different reason: it swallows water until it is almost bursting, just to match its size. A balloon bluff, which is exactly what its official category says: Balloon Pokémon.

It is half a meter tall and weighs 3.9 kg, placing it among the Pokédex's smaller fish. Its evolutionary line is one of the strangest in the entire series: the standard form does not evolve into anything, remaining unchanged from level 1 to 100, while the Hisuian variant does have a continuation and reaches Overqwil. Two creatures with the same number and two different fates depending on the region.

The 440 points are distributed awkwardly. On one side, 95 Attack, 85 Defense and 85 Speed — stats belonging to something that hits and moves; on the other, 65 HP and a double 55 in Special Attack and Special Defense, which means it cannot take anything on the special side.

The contradiction lies in its movepool. Almost everything it can learn from TMs is special — Hydro Pump, Sludge Wave, Sludge Bomb — and none of those moves make use of its best stat. Its physical options are reduced to Poison Jab at level 28, Aqua Tail at 48 and Gunk Shot by TM, with Swords Dance to try to make them worthwhile.

Poison Point and Swift Swim are its regular abilities, and the second makes sense if someone sets up rain with Rain Dance. The one that gives it a real role is its hidden ability, Intimidate: it lowers the opponent's Attack as soon as it comes in, and that free turn is used to set Spikes, which it learns at level 20, or Toxic Spikes, at 36. Very few run both.

Defensively, Water and Poison work better than they seem: it resists eight types, with Poison doing quarter damage and Fire, Water, Ice, Steel, Fighting, Bug and Fairy doing half, and it is only weak to Electric, Ground and Psychic. Offensively, the same pairing is weak. Poison does not even hit Steel-types, and Rock, Ground, Ghost and other Poison-types resist it.

The problem is that its niche is already taken. Toxapex spreads Toxic Spikes and takes hits far better. Qwilfish is left with Destiny Bond at level 56, the honest way out for something that knows it is going down: it takes out whatever knocks it out.

It belongs to a single Egg Group, Water 2, the one for fish, with a 50% gender ratio. Its 20 Egg cycles work out to around 5355 steps, a fairly standard egg.

Breeding gives it ten moves, and several are worth the detour. Aqua Jet is the most useful of them all: a physical priority move for an Attack stat of 95, something its level-up moveset never gives it. Barb Barrage is the other one, and not because of its power of 60, but because of what it unlocks. Then there are Self-Destruct, Supersonic, Bubble Beam, Astonish, Flail, Haze, Water Pulse and Acid Spray, most of them relics from earlier generations.

Evolution only exists for the Hisuian form, and the requirement is specific: use Barb Barrage in Strong Style, the battle system from Pokémon Legends: Arceus. Outside that game, the requirement translates into leveling up while knowing the same move. The standard form does not evolve under any circumstances.

Its habitat is the sea and its catch rate is 45, the figure for a Pokémon that is difficult to catch, more than you would expect from something so unimpressive. It grows at an average rate. Wild specimens may be holding a Poison Barb, which raises the power of their own Poison-type moves.