Slowpoke

In Red and Green, 1996, the Kanto Pokédex needed some shoreline wildlife, and number 079 took on that role: a pink creature 1.2 meters tall and weighing 36 kilos that spends the day sitting beside the water with its tail dipped in. The official category, the Dopey Pokémon, does not hide a thing.

The design mixes a hippopotamus with a giant salamander — a broad, blunt snout, four short legs each ending in a single white claw, and eyes that never quite manage to focus. The real work is done by the tail. It releases a sweet substance that attracts fish and works as bait; Pokédex entries insist that it fishes this way and, in the very next breath, that it forgets what it was doing and spends whole days lazing on the bank. If something bites its tail, it will not notice for the entire day. It loses the tail often. Since it does not hurt and the tail grows back quickly, it does not attach any importance to it.

A superstition has grown up around its yawning: in some regions, people believe it brings rain and treat it practically as a deity. In Alola, by contrast, people eat the tail after drying it and cooking it in salt water.

It is the base of a line that split in two when Gold and Silver added a second destination: Slowbro on one side, Slowking on the other.

315 points distributed without much enthusiasm: 90 HP, 65 Attack, 65 Defense, 40 Special Attack, 40 Special Defense, and 15 Speed. That 15 is the lowest figure of all Psychic-type Pokémon and the lowest of any Pokémon that appeared in the first generation. With 40 Special Defense, its 90 HP does not hold up at all on the special side; physically, 90 and 65 can put up a fight.

What keeps it playable in Little Cup is Regenerator, its hidden Ability: it restores HP every time it is switched out, so it can come in, take a hit, and leave without paying for it. With Eviolite equipped, that physical half becomes awkward to break. Its two regular Abilities, Oblivious and Own Tempo, only cover Attract, Taunt, and confusion.

It does not attack. Psychic comes at level 36 and Surf at 30, but they come off 40 Special Attack and do not KO anything. Status moves do the work: Yawn, at level 9, forces the opponent to switch or fall asleep; Slack Off, at 33, restores its HP; Thunder Wave, via TM, leaves something paralyzed before it goes. And Trick Room, also via TM, reverses the order of attacks for five turns and turns that 15 into the best figure on the field.

Almost everything else stops it. Water and Psychic leave it with five weaknesses — Grass, Electric, Bug, Ghost, and Dark — and the last two target its 40 Special Defense directly. Outside Little Cup, it has no place: anyone wanting this setup with real numbers turns to Slowbro, which Smogon places in RU, or Slowking, in UU. In a normal playthrough, it learns Surf at level 30 and serves as transport until level 37 turns it into something else.

It belongs to the Monster and Water 1 Egg Groups, with females at 50%, so two specimens are enough and there is no need to use Ditto. The line also has a catalogue oddity: it is the only Psychic-type line within the Monster Egg Group.

Twenty incubation cycles, around 5355 steps, on the shorter end of the scale.

Of the four Egg Moves — Stomp, Belly Drum, Block, and Belch — only one sees any use. Block prevents the opponent from fleeing or switching, which is the only offensive thing it can do without relying on its stats. Belch has 120 power and requires a Berry to have been consumed beforehand, a process that rarely pays off with 40 Special Attack and 15 Speed.

There are two evolution conditions, and they are completely different. Slowbro is reached at level 37, nothing else required. Slowking is only reached by trading while it holds a King's Rock — and wild specimens can be carrying King's Rock themselves, as well as Lagging Tail, so the item comes from the Pokémon itself. The Galarian forms change the method completely: a Galarica Cuff gives Galarian Slowbro and a Galarica Wreath gives Galarian Slowking, with no levels or trades involved.

Its habitat is the riverbank. Its catch rate, 190, is close to the trivial end of the scale, so an ordinary Poké Ball will usually do. It grows at the Medium rate and gives 1 HP when defeated.