Slowbro

The Shellder on its tail isn't its own, and Slowbro didn't put it there either. It's a Shellder that bit a Slowpoke while it was fishing in the river and, according to the Pokédex, won't let go for anything: the tail is simply too appetising. Everything else follows from that bite.

The mollusc's venom flows through its veins and, instead of harming it, makes it even more drowsy. Just looking out over the ocean is enough for it to switch off; with the venom in its system, it reaches peak relaxation. Every bite sparks a brilliant idea that it forgets moments later. And since its tail can no longer serve as a fishing rod, it has to get into the water to look for prey, which it does reluctantly.

Its official category, the Hermit Crab Pokémon, points to the crab that occupies other animals' shells, except that here the shell came on its own.

The arrangement is reversible, and the entry itself says so: if the Shellder comes off, it turns back into Slowpoke. Few species come with their own undo button written into the Pokédex. At 1.6 metres and 78.5 kilograms, the evolution also puts it on two legs — Slowpoke walks on all fours and Slowbro doesn't — while the pink colour and vacant expression remain unchanged from one form to the other.

30 Speed. That figure dictates everything else: it moves last against almost anything, so its 490 points are spread out to take a hit first and answer afterwards. 95 HP and 110 Defense support its physical side, while 100 Special Attack stop the opponent from treating it like a punching bag. The hole is its 80 Special Defense, which is where it falls apart.

What keeps it relevant is Regenerator, its Hidden Ability: it restores HP whenever it returns to the bench, so it can switch in, take an attack, switch out and come back in at full health. On that foundation, the set Smogon documents in Scarlet and Violet OU is a Heavy-Duty Boots wall built around Future Sight, which lands two turns later and punishes the opponent for switching, with Slack Off (Lv.33) to heal when Regenerator isn't enough and Scald or Ice Beam for immediate damage.

Defensively, Water and Psychic handle Fire, Fighting, Ice and Steel well. The problem is the other half of the list: Electric, Grass, Bug, Ghost and Dark get in without resistance, and against a Dark type the situation is as bad as it gets — neither of its types hits comfortably, the opponent targets its weak special defense and, with 30 Speed, there's no way to get out before it.

In a normal playthrough, it can take just about anything. Amnesia arrives at Lv.27 and patches exactly the stat it lacks, Psych Up at 41 reverses the opponent's boosts, and with Surf at 30 and Psychic at 36 it has the two attacks it needs right through to the end of the adventure.

It belongs to the Monster and Water 1 Egg Groups, a broad combination that lets it breed with a good chunk of the starters and almost everything that lives in the water. The gender split is exactly even, 50% female, so finding a female breeder isn't the bottleneck it is in other evolutionary lines.

Its 20 incubation cycles work out to about 5355 steps. It inherits just one move of its own from the Egg, Future Sight, which is also available via TM in Scarlet and Violet, so breeding for Egg Moves has limited mileage here.

The evolution is one of the cleanest in the first generation: Slowpoke reaches level 37 and that's it, with no items, time requirements or friendship involved. The alternative branch is another story — equip that same Slowpoke with a King's Rock and trade it, and it comes out as Slowking instead of Slowbro. You can also steal the King's Rock from wild Slowbro, which carry one.

Its habitat is the riverbank, the boundary between water and land, which is exactly where the Pokédex entries place it. Its catch rate, 75, puts it in the middle range: harder to catch than a route Pokémon, but considerably easier than species with a rate of 45. It grows at a medium pace and yields 2 Defense EVs.